Pressure
by Adjust The Tip
Summary: Jaune Arc struggles with the weight of Leadership. Takes place between Volume 1 and Volume 2.
1. Chapter 1

Jaune Arc awoke with a start, breathing heavily and soaked with sweat for what felt like the hundredth time this month. His nightmares were becoming more frequent, much to his dismay.

JNPR's team captain sat up, attempting to slow his rapid panting as not to wake his teammates. He brought up one hand, running it through his blonde hair. He tugged a handful painfully, hoping to solidify the fact that he was truly awake.

It was well past midnight and Jaune's eyes were already suitably adjusted to the darkness. He took a moment to inspect his teammates who were all resting in the same dorm room, though far more calmly than himself. Ren and Pyrrha slept all but silently, their covers rising and falling along with their calm breath, while Nora, conspicuous even while sleeping, snored loudly with a single leg hanging out of her bed. They were all perfectly fine.

Jaune slid out of bed, moving as silently as possible into the bathroom. He left the light off, trusting himself to navigate the familiar surroundings even with limited visibility. He rinsed his hands with cold water and splashed his face, waiting for his breathing to steady and his heart to stop pounding. He avoided making eye contact with himself in the mirror.

He hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in at least a week, and he was sure the bags under his eyes would start to draw questions soon enough. The last thing he wanted to do was trouble his team. That wasn't what a leader did.

The creatures of Grimm were the enemies of all mankind, and up until just recently, Jaune couldn't think of anything more frightening. But, these monsters weren't the cause of his recurring nightmares. He had steadied himself, determined to attend Beacon, and his pride had outweighed his fears. He was going to become a hero, worthy of his family name and nothing, not even soulless amalgamations of darkness, would impede his progress. The monsters could be killed.

Indeed, Jaune had watched as skilled friends, hunters and huntresses who made their jobs look easy, dispatched the Grimm time and time again. But, he wasn't capable of standing on even footing with his peers and yet, here he was, a team leader. The lives of three others were in his inexperienced hands, and that errant thought had developed into a constant feeling of panic that followed him through his daily routine, eating him alive. At night, his sleeping mind was harassed with images of his team, splayed lifeless in front of him on some distant battlefield.

Jaune was more than willing to give his life if necessary, but he was not, in any capacity, ready to sacrifice a teammate because of his own shortcomings. His own ineffective leadership would not hurt those closest to him.

But, a leader couldn't show any doubt. That was what Jaune had decided, choosing not to share his uncertainties with his teammates. If they thought he lacked faith in his own ability to guide them, how could they trust him in the field.

Instead he had thrown himself into his studies, while simultaneously driving himself to the point of exhaustion in his training exercises. However, he had still done his damnedest to maintain his air of "loveable goofiness" around his teammates. His mood, and possibly his sanity, were on a steady decline, but he ensured that his mannerism around his friends experience not even a slight dip in quality and uniformity. However, he was reaching into reserves of endurance he didn't even know he was capable of, just to act human towards the end of each arduous day.

Improving himself as a hunter in every way possible, while also keeping his team at ease by masking the stress that threatened to crush his skull had become a full time job, and now, his sleep was eluding him.

Jaune made his way out of the bathroom and back into JNPR's living quarters, not even sure if he was ready to give sleeping another attempt. Jaune yanked his pajama shirt over his head, knowing he definitely couldn't sleep while drenched with sweat.

Unfortunately, this meant he was now walking blind, and with a thud, he slammed his toe into his dresser. Jaune forced back a mouthful of expletives, silently hopping in place while cradling his newly injured foot. Once the pain began to diminish Jaune risked a glance at his teammates to see if his dignity would also escape unscathed. Luckily, no one had stirred. What kind of hero couldn't walk straight?

A beam of shifting light pierced Jaune's eyes through the window, momentarily blinding him and indicating that morning classes were quickly approaching. With a sigh Jaune climbed back into his bed, ready to feign sleep until Pyrrha, the early bird of the team awoke.

Jaune Arc would become the leader they needed if it killed him.


	2. Chapter 2

Jaune's alarm blared in his ear shocking him back into the land of the living. He reached over to his desk, wincing at the noise and slapping blindly for the snooze button. Being beaten awake with a blunt object wouldn't have given him a more furious headache. At some point pretending to sleep had developed into actual sleep, but Jaune felt far from rested. In fact, he was somehow more tired than when he had finally drifted off an hour ago.

Moving mechanically Jaune struggled to his feet, making his way into the bathroom, shuffling like a zombie. He was halfway through brushing his teeth before he felt some semblance of consciousness spark alive inside his head. The strange static clouding his mind was replaced by the sound of running water.

"Um… Jaune?" It was the voice of Pyrrha Nikos, his teammate.

He turned around still groggy. "Hmm?"

Only Pyrrha's head was visible, peaking out from behind the shower curtain, her red hair dripping. She looked embarrassed and slightly confused.

Jaune froze, mentally reprimanding himself. Usually each team member was allowed individual use of the bathroom while they showered, but he had carelessly wandered in without checking, violating Pyrrha's privacy.

Sorry!" Jaune yelped quickly, dashing out of the bathroom with his toothbrush still in his mouth.

He slammed the door and then leaned back against it, now wide-awake. His face felt warm. He had been able to see the outline of Pyrrha's body through the curtain and it had been far more intimate an experience than he was ready for so early in the morning.

Jaune inhaled deeply and smacked his head on the bathroom's wooden doorframe. He didn't have time to be a creep while he was the leader of team JNPR. He swallowed the toothpaste in his mouth with a grimace.

A quick room inspection indicated that Ren and Nora were absent, having most likely showered already and gone to get breakfast. Again, Jaune was relieved to see that his blunder didn't have an active audience. While waiting for his turn to shower, he decided to be productive, hastily making his bed, assembling his books, and laying out his uniform.

Just as he finished Pyrrha exited the bathroom trailed by a cloud of steam, already dressed in her Beacon uniform.

"Sorry again." Jaune reiterated, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, not meeting her eyes.

"It's fine Jaune," She chuckled, already packing her backpack "Nothing to be concerned about."

Jaune noticed an edge of nervousness in Pyrrha's voice, but couldn't quite grasp the cause. He decided ruefully, that his teammate was probably laughing off another of his mistakes to make him feel better. His ineptitude, and lack of any and all leadership qualities had to worry them just as much as it worried him.

His mood now having soured, Jaune grabbed his towel and slipped past Pyrrha into the bathroom.

"Want me to wait for you?" Pyrrha asked as the door closed.

"No, I'm going to skip breakfast," Jaune said loudly. He realized too late that he hadn't managed to inject his usual cheerfulness into his tone.

"Okay." Pyrrha said weakly, barely audible from the bathroom.

Jaune heard the door to JNPR's common room open and then swing shut.

Jaune survived his classes that day through a combination of sheer willpower and enough coffee to turn him into a twitching mess of frayed nerves. His note taking abilities had been less than flawless, but he had gotten the gist of the necessary information down on paper… he hoped. Either way, he had an entire library that he could use during his free time to catch up on schoolwork. He would dedicate every weekend to studying if necessary.

He was on his way to the rooftops for the one irreplaceable part of his days, his combat training. He needed desperately to not be team JNPR's weakest link in battle, and Pyrrha had offered to help him improve as a hunter. He didn't think he could ever find a way to repay her kindness.

His bad mood, worry, and self-doubt couldn't follow him here. This was the one time of day during which he felt like he was actively making stride's towards his goal. Pyrrha's skills in combat made his own look laughable, but paradoxically that made Jaune feel better because it meant there was so much she could teach him.

Emotionally, this was going to be the high point of his day, but physically and mentally he was already running on fumes. His sword dangled in his grip, bouncing off of each stair with a clang as he neared the roof.


	3. Chapter 3

Jaune found himself lying on his back, wheezing spastically, with a rather spectacular view of the night sky.

"I think… we should stop here for now," Pyrrha said somewhat uncertainly, lowering her spear.

"Probably," Jaune admitted, grinning sheepishly.

This had been his poorest combat performance in quite a while, but that came as no surprise to him. He was barely able to keep his eyes open, let alone actively engage in a sparring match. His lack of sleep and busy schedule were taking a real toll on him.

He had done his best to carefully compartmentalize all of Pyrrha's helpful advice on his combat stance and positioning, but he had been unable to effectively put said advice into practice. His legs felt like lead.

Pyrrha, still full of energy, strode over to Jaune, extending her arm to help him up.

"Jaune, are you alright?" She asked, looking concerned, but mercifully not mentioning his poor performance.

"I'm just tired." Jaune answered truthfully, gripping her hand and pulling himself to his feet.

He dusted himself off theatrically, hoping the burst of liveliness would alleviate just a bit of Pyrrha's worry.

"Are you sure you aren't maybe... overworking yourself?" Pyrrha inquired.

Jaune opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it immediately finding nothing to say. Instead he busied himself by picking up his sword, which had been knocked out of his hands during their last one-sided exchange of blows.

"You're schedule is somewhat… excessive," Pyrrha deliberated, "Recently you spend more time in the training rooms and library than outside them."

Jaune sighed. She was right, of course.

"I'll take tomorrow off," He replied, another fake grin.

"Excellent," Pyrrha exclaimed, apparently satisfied with this answer.

As they made their way back towards their dorm, Jaune let himself fall a few steps behind. His smile faltered. All the leisure time in the world wasn't going to help him if he couldn't get a second of nightmare-free sleep.

Later that night Jaune found himself once again lying in his bed, his team's steady breathing mocking him. He hadn't bothered to put on his pajama shirt this time, already predicting his cold sweat. He was really sick of washing it.

"Just tonight. Please. Sleep." Jaune moaned quietly to himself, rolling over onto his stomach.

Jaune's nightmares never held together in any structured fashion. They tended to be more abstract, arriving in the form of brief flashes of his teammates suffering, and images of their lifeless bodies devoid of context. The one constant was an overwhelming sense of guilt, causing him to feel as if he had been gutted. Some way or another his poor leadership was the cause everything.

This time a strangely foreign sensation accompanied the usual slideshow of failures in his mind. Jaune struggled to breathe, feeling as if his chest were being crushed. Was he dying alongside his teammates?

He awoke with a labored gasp, surprised to find Nora's sleeping face inches from his own. She was crushing his ribs in a powerful bear hug, which was the only thing preventing Jaune from shouting in shock; he had no breath to spare.

Taking a moment to assemble his strewn thoughts, Jaune realized Nora must have mistaken his bed for Ren's. She and Ren were an item… he thought. His two friends had really never willingly addressed the subject.

Nora's grip was like a vice, holding tight against Jaune's attempts at freedom. Eventually he maneuvered himself enough room to draw in a deep, staggered breath.

His life no longer in danger, Jaune turned his attention back to Nora. Her body was pressed uncomfortably close to his own and he could feel much more of her than was… appropriate.

"Sorry, Ren." Jaune whispered, finally prying her hands off of his back.

Nora whined sadly, drawing Jaune's attention. He noticed for the first time that her lip was quivering and her face was tensed, her eyes bouncing around under her closed eyelids.

It seemed like he wasn't the only team member who had nightmares.

Improbably still unconscious Nora extended her arms towards Jaune again, much more meekly this time. She seemed afraid that whatever she was reaching for in her imagination might force her away again.

Jaune, making up his mind, climbed to his feet with a sigh, before circling to the other side of the bed. He carefully picked up Nora, one arm under her legs, the other on her back, and carried her to her own bed. He put her down softly and pulled her sheets over her.

He took a seat next to Nora's pillow and gently patted her head until her worried features softened into a contented smile.

Jaune wasn't sure what he was supposed to be doing, but asleep, she seemed so impossibly childlike that he felt this was the best option. He hoped Pyrrha and Ren would remain asleep because, truthfully, he felt a bit ridiculous.

Jaune remained in place comforting Nora for a few more minutes, now struggling not to laugh at the ridiculous grin she had adopted. When he was certain she was sleeping comfortably and unlikely to relapse into a bad dream, he trekked back to his own bed.

He knocked out as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Pyrrha convinced everyone to let Jaune sleep late the following morning.


End file.
